Freshie mindset

I am at a weird spot in my professional life. Figuring out what to do next is hard. Finding the motivation to figure out what to do next is even harder. I am convinced I am using my time in a fulfilling way. Reading books, spending time with Samay, and generally being disconnected. I am not deeply upset or disappointed with myself, just slightly grumpy. I have been reflecting in the background about my mindset. I find that I get grumpy when people around me ask "What's next?". An external person asking magnifies my mild, internal grumpiness at not having a good answer to the question. Even though I don't have a self-imposed clock on answering that question. My best guess is because I have lived most of my professional life on a career ladder. Very milestone and deadline driven with little wandering. And no snakes. This phase is the first snake.

I have also realized that to answer 'whats next?', I must adopt a 'freshie mindset' from this point on. Freshie ("freshman") is a comical but powerful term. Freshies don't know much about much. But thats their secret. They can do anything. They can ask anything. They can be anything.