Your logic is not my logic

Today marks 4 weeks since our son was born. The past 4 weeks have felt long, incredible, different from pre-newborn life, and tiring. We have had to make many shifts in our schedule and activities. More things need to be planned vs. being spontaneous earlier (I don't like this part). But these are all doable shifts and ones we were aware would happen, though we were not prepared for them.

The underappreciated shift has been throwing all logic -- or as I call it "adult logic" -- out of the window.

Newborns are different from adults. They are smart in their own way, like how dolphins or ants or plants are smart. But different. This is difficult to internalize for the adult brain. Their needs are different in nature, timing, and intensity. And they can't communicate it to you. They may want food 15x/day in the first week, and only 5x/day in the sixth month. They may poop more at night or not at all for days on end. They may hate an activity so much they start crying.

Even if you magically identify the need, the input-output relationships are not defined; e.g., your newborn may not enjoy a warm bath on a cold day or want 3 layers on a warm day. The input-output relationships are ever-changing; e.g., "rocking to sleep" had absolutely no impact on our newborn for the first 3 weeks but has started being mildly effective in the last 3 days. There are lots of books, but no manual for your newborn.

And so the biggest realization has been to accept that these phenomena are true, not to apply our own priors to these events, and to respond nimbly to the "game on the pitch."